When I set up Footbridge earlier this year, I wasn’t sure exactly what shape it would take other than that of a place to play around, publish raw ideas, and generally just keep myself writing consistently. Under a “What kind of content should I expect?” section on the about page, I simply put:
“A little bit of this, a little bit of that: essays, humor, maybe some fiction. It may not always seem like it follows a consistent theme, but it’ll always come from one person, so there’s at least one throughline.”
So far it’s mostly been essays on culture and identity, often of the existential variety. Every now and then I’ve dipped into some good old-fashioned geopolitical conflict, floated up experiences outside of my own, and detailed THE PROCESS of writing and publishing a novel.
I haven’t shared much actual humor or fiction writing, though, instead mostly skimming the surface with failed submissions and/or applications to well-established comedy writing institutions. This week, as I was looking back through these for some inspiration, I realized that I left something out of the former, my empty McSweeney’s efforts. I said I was 0-for-9 on submissions and only included eight. So, because I’m a helpless completionist and am choosing to let this first year of Footbridge go particularly all over the place, here’s that missing humor “article” in full, preceded by the editor’s kind rejection.
McSweeney's Lists Submissions <lists@mcsweeneys.net> May 15, 2017, 3:07 PM
Hi Victor -
A silly idea, but I’m passing. We’ve been venturing into more topical material lately, so something light and quirky like this isn’t as good a fit as it maybe once was. Thanks for thinking of us, nonetheless.
Best,
Chris
- - -
Christopher Monks
MIT Editor
List: Reliably Manufactured Alternatives to Steel-Cut Oats
Instant
Rolled
Shaved
Minced
Scissor-cut
Hand-chopped
Aluminum-wrapped
Ironclad
Premature
Evaporating
Tongue-in-cheek
Familiar
Ancestral
Maternal
Paternal
Presidential
Polarizing
Troubling
Hypocritical
Condescending
Tone-deaf
Reckless
Resentful
Attention-seeking
Validation-craving
Borderline insane
Inexcusable
Unworthy
Authoritarian
Fatal
Is this a teaser post about upcoming humor or fiction writing?